Mommy Diary: In Love

I saw my sister breastfeed her two kids when I was still single. I saw it as something very natural, and never even entertained the idea of not breastfeeding when my kids came. I nursed Little T until she was two years and three months old. We stopped when I got pregnant with Little Sir and couldn’t stand the pain. Now two-and-a-half years old, Little Sir still happily and eagerly – too eagerly – drinks milk from his Mama.

In honor of Breastfeeding Month, I am sharing here something I wrote about my early days as a mom, when Little T was just four months old. I originally posted it on my old private blog in the now defunct Multiply site and put it in Little T’s first year photo book.

I believe that breastfeeding shaped me to become my children’s first and best teacher. I look back at those early days of struggling how to latch properly and remembering where to feed from next, and see it as the time that I fell in love with motherhood. The bond fostered by breastfeeding, to me, is just priceless and beautiful.

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Little T is four months old. She’s calm, happy, and wakes up smiling. She can be counted on to entertain herself long enough for me to eat my breakfast and read the World and Entertainment sections of the Philippine Star. I prop her on her chair and she sets her beautiful alert eyes on the most fascinating object she can see – usually the ceiling fan – until she gets bored and calls out with an IH, IH while trying to lift her back off the seat.

After her bath, we spend our mornings playing on the floor for some tummy time. I never thought watching my baby wiggle like a worm to reach for a toy would be so exciting… I just had to call my mother about it. Seeing her so thrilled with her newfound skills in exploring her world just makes me smile in wonder.

Little T likes my singing. She smiles sweetly as I serenade her with “You Are My Sunshine” and squeals in delight as I sing and dance to “Beep, Beep, A Small Jeep Is Running Down The Street.” For some reason, she finds “Diddle, Diddle Dumpling” funny so I sing it to her too. My years watching Barney CDs with my niece are definitely paying off as I am now a veritable jukebox spewing nursery rhymes. Just a smile from my sweetheart and I’m good to go.

Little T nibbles on my arm or sucks away on one, two, three, or four of her fingers when she gets hungry from all our singing and playing. However, even if she fits her entire hand in her mouth, nothing would be as satisfying as her Mama’s milky (which she has been enjoying for four months, one week, and two days). I melt when she stares me longingly – or pleadingly? And I love it when she stops mid-nursing to look up and coo, her eyes crinkling. Happiness. Bliss. Ecstasy.

And finally, my angel lets me know that she’s sleepy by vigorously rubbing her eyes and squishing her pretty little nose against my neck. I sing her a lullaby, put her to bed, and nurse her till we’re both asleep.

Hay, hey, hiy, hoy, huy! Can you tell? I’m in love!