• Home
    • Praise and Press
    • About
  • TLB Classes
    • Class Descriptions
    • Online Parent Education Classes
  • Blog
    • Homeschooling
    • Charlotte Mason
    • Booklist
    • Reading and Storytelling
    • Cultivating Love of Learning
    • Parenting Thoughts
      • Memory-Making
    • Five in a Row
      • Before Five in a Row
  • Shop
    • Request/Pre-Order Books Here
    • TLB Gift Card
    • My Account
    • View Cart
    • Frequently Asked Questions
    • Lost password
  • Book lists
    • Living Books Planning Tool
    • Filipino Living Books Book List
    • Philippine History: A Booklist
    • Catholic Homeschooling Booklist
  • Search the TLB Book Shop
    • Picture Books By Age
      • Board Books
      • Ages 0-2
      • Ages 2-4
      • Ages 4-6
      • Ages 6-8
    • Chapter Books
      • Ages 8-10
      • Ages 10 up
    • Homeschooling
      • CM Homeschooling/Living Books
      • Five in a Row
      • Before Five in a Row
      • Math Books
      • Catholic Books
    • Philippine Published Books
      • Free Downloads
      • Ages 0 to 2
      • Ages 2 to 4
      • Ages 4 to 6
      • Ages 6 to 8
      • Ages 8 to 10
      • Ages 10 and up
      • Chapter Books
      • Board Books
    • Classics
    • Award-Winning Books
    • Recommended Reads for Parents
    • Educational Toys and Materials

The Learning Basket

You Are Your Child's First and Best Teacher

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

I don’t want to be a nagging mom anymore

June 27, 2015 by The Learning Basket Leave a Comment

  • Total406
  • 400
  • 0
  • 2

nagging mom

Baby number three is just about ready to pop… and I am tired. I just want to lie down and sleep most of the time, much like during my first trimester.

And I’ve been giving in to it. My kids’ homeschooling has gone on maternity leave early, our routine has gone south, and my patience has been cut into shreds. I just want to be left alone, but I still have to mind the kids.

So, I find myself barking orders – Take a bath NOW! Brush your teeth NOW! Get dressed NOW! Eat NOW! – and getting exasperated when my little shadows don’t seem to listen. Talk about the classic idiom “in one ear and out the other.”

Until I realized that I don’t want to be a nagging mom. I don’t want my kids to obey me just because they can hear the impatience, frustration and anger in my voice. Instead, I want them to obey because they are internally motivated.

I stopped and racked my brain on what I could do instead. I remembered the positive discipline tool of asking kids instead of telling them what to do.

Asking versus Telling

When you think about it, we usually just tell our children what to do. Oftentimes, we blame them for something that happened because of what they did. You were late to ballet class because you forgot your ballet bag and we had to go back for it! You wouldn’t stop reading so you had to hurry taking a bath! (Yes, these words came out of my mouth.)

The positive discipline approach recommends asking children about what happened, how they feel about it and what they should do about it. This way, children think and reach the right conclusions and decisions on their own, without anyone dictating to them.

Learning to ask my children

I try to think of how I feel when somebody tells me what to do without giving me a chance to think things through. I know I feel upset and defensive when that happens.

So, now I take a deep breath (the first step in successfully talking to children) and try hard to make them think with my questions instead of just telling them what they should do.

Just a little while ago, I told my 4-year-old, “We are going out later. What do you think you should do?” He said, “Take a bath,” and ran to the bathroom.

And to my daughter who just arrived from her Filipino class, I asked, “We are going out later. Do you want to wear those clothes again?” When she said yes, I led her to think of the next step by asking, “What do you think you should do to keep them clean?” With a gleam in her eyes, she exclaimed, “Change my clothes!”

Here are some more examples of questions that I’ve used to remind them of rules and things to do:

  • What did we say about when you can play Minecraft? What day is it today?
  • What did the dentist say about keeping your teeth healthy and strong?
  • What should you do first before you start reading?
  • What did you promise to do after playing with your toys?

Yes, it takes a little bit more effort to ask questions that will guide our children to understand and act on their own. But being curious about what they think helps open their minds and invites a gentle discussion with them that makes them feel capable and motivated.

It helps us stop becoming nagging moms too.

Do you want to try this at home? Let us know how it works out for you!

tlb heart

Related Posts

  • Positive Discipline: The Early Years (August 17, 2019, 11:30 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.)Positive Discipline: The Early Years (August 17, 2019, 11:30 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.)
  • Getting over our children’s heartachesGetting over our children’s heartaches
  • Why (and how) my 8 year old is paying for her music lessons Why (and how) my 8 year old is paying for her music lessons 
  • Discipline Spelled OutDiscipline Spelled Out
  • 8 Mom-Daughter Date Ideas8 Mom-Daughter Date Ideas
  • How we kicked our child’s TV-while-eating habitHow we kicked our child’s TV-while-eating habit
  • Who’s the boss?Who’s the boss?
  • The Day I Apologized to My DaughterThe Day I Apologized to My Daughter
  • Total406
  • 400
  • 0
  • 2
«
»

About The Learning Basket

TLB is composed of two moms who love to read and are homeschoolers.

Welcome


Hi there!

Whether you are a busy working mom, a work-at-home mom, or a stay-at-home mom, you are sure to find parenting and learning inspiration on our pages and parent education workshops to empower you to be your child’s first and best teacher.

Make magic with your child!

Search for Blog Posts

Search Learning Ideas

  • Before Five in a Row
  • Booklist
  • Charlotte Mason
  • Cultivating Love of Learning
  • Educational Materials
  • Five in a Row
  • Fun Friday Ideas
  • Homeschooling
  • Memory-Making
  • Parent Education
  • Parenting Thoughts
  • Past Parent Education Classes
  • Reading and Storytelling
  • Uncategorized

Upcoming Events

preschool homeschool

NOW OPEN — Everything you need to start homeschooling your preschooler is right here (Feb 11 to March 4 2023)

In these uncertain times, we can still enjoy our children while helping them to love learning. Learn everything you need to know to start homeschooling your preschooler in this comprehensive online parent education program.

Subscribe

Get updates on learning ideas, parenting events & shop offers!

Copyright © 2023 · Web Design by Fancy Girl Design Studio · Shop Set Up by Marge Aberásturi

Copyright © 2023 · Learning Basket Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in