If I Weren’t a Mother

If I weren’t a mother, I would have all the time in the world… to have a haircut, go to the salon, get lost in a book, lie down all day (my absolute dream).

If I weren’t a mother, I could pack up my bags and leave anytime I want, visit places I’ve never been to, spend money on myself without a thought.

If I weren’t a mother, I could look into my husband’s eyes as we talk deeply, meaningfully, romantically, without anyone interrupting.

If I weren’t a mother, I wouldn’t be woken up in the middle of the night by little voices asking for water, trip on trucks, dolls and books scattered all over the floor.

If I weren’t a mother, I wouldn’t have to review the alphabet, shapes, colors and numbers over and over again. I already know those, you see.

If I weren’t a mother, I could leave the house without having to pack almost everything, dress in impractical clothes and shoes, be on time for my meetings.

But if I weren’t a mother, I would miss out on absolutely adoring looks, the sweetest and stickiest kisses and gentle loving strokes on my face.

If I weren’t a mother, I wouldn’t try to be the best person that I can be, watch my words and actions even if I’m alone, keep away distractions and just be.

If I weren’t a mother, I wouldn’t be able to stretch myself so much, force myself to tie ponytails and pigtails, and learn the different kinds of swords, daggers and knives.

If I weren’t a mother, I wouldn’t feel this lump in my throat every time I have scary thoughts about my children, stay up late looking at and stroking their peaceful sleeping faces, whisper the softest I love yous even when nobody hears.

If I weren’t a mother, I wouldn’t know this place of absolute love that threatens to make my heart burst everyday.

If I weren’t a mother, I wouldn’t know that being in a darkened room with just a flicker of a light, with my sleeping husband and children, can be the lightest, happiest place on Earth.

And so I’m glad that I am.

 

 What would your life be like if you weren’t a mother?